DARE Coaching Methodology PDF

D.A.R.E. Coaching Methodology PDF is a process model. In neuro-generative coaching means a series of actions and decisions that must happen in order to achieve the goal required by clients in any particular coaching process.  Join Bren Murphy Life Coaching at the Life Coach.
This core idea will guide the mindset of the coach, as a concept, in every aspect and stage of the complete coaching process and client´s goals and desires. D.A.R.E. Coaching Methodology PDF  

1.- Set a congruent DIRECTION, by a specific and clear definition of client´s goals, dreams and desires.
2.- Accompany and facilitate the client to define and take ACTION.
3.- Check RESULTS. Learn from them.
4.- Every step of the way to achieve results and accomplish what is intended, brings knowledge and new perspectives. This means EVOLUTION.
Apply this in your very life!  Alongside mindfulness meditation.

D.A.R.E. Coaching Methodology PDF
When you set a clear DIRECTION in life, and take the necessary and coherent ACTIONS, sooner or later you´ll get RESULTS that will motivate you to keep growing and learning. Development and growing means EVOLUTION.
Great, isn´t it?

Hypnotherapy Life Coaching

Now, more that ever, concerned physicians are beginning to ask about and understand the role of non-drug treatments to assist patients with headache. These therapies, alone or in mix with medications can substantially influence on headache treatment.

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This pleases me. As a Family doctor and Clinical Hypnotist with thirty years experience in the field, I applaud this trend. Certainly, a capable and thoughtful physician will struggle to help his/her patient find headache relief by whatever approaches, complimentary, standard or both. Much can be acquired if we take a look at hypnosis as a valuable tool in the fight for headache relief.

As our understanding of how the brain works and which substances or "neurotransmitters" manage our pain response establishes, we begin to presume that relaxation therapies consisting of hypnosis, may alter in a positive and basic way our brain chemistry such that discomfort relief is more likely.

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A fascinating research study was carried out with patients who learned relaxation skills. The scientists examined the subjects' monoamine oxidase levels-since monoamine oxidase is exactly what metabolizes serotonin, a pain relief chemical, and discovered modifications in those levels consistent with what you would anticipate with preventive drug therapy! The study recommends that it is not simply a matter of feeling unwinded that is necessary but in fact learning through these relaxation treatments to turn off and on certain discomfort paths in the nervous system by altering monoamine oxidase levels and consequently serotonin levels.

In this short article, I wish to introduce you to hypnosis and self-hypnosis as a method of discomfort relief for patients who suffer from headache. Hypnosis is fun, efficient, peaceful and has no negative effects.

Exactly what is this thing they call hypnosis? No, Virginia, it is NOT clucking like a chicken, barking like a dog or being 'put under,' helpless and at the control of the master. Rather, for many people, most of the time, it is a concentrated state of attention or harmony. It is quickly attained by going to a professional knowledgeable in hypnosis. This enjoyable state has two fascinating and helpful residential or commercial properties:

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It is profoundly peaceful. In our demanding lives what individual would not enjoy a couple of minutes of deep relaxation in the middle of the day from hell!
The mind becomes open to favorable and restorative ideas. Just recommendations given with your approval and for your very own benefit are accepted. Nobody can be required or coerced into doing something they do not wish to do.
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When I assist patients use hypnosis for headache and tension, I use them headache specific tips as well as relaxation and tension reduction guidelines. I get to understand my patient not simply as Mr. Jones with a headache, however also as a real person in a stressful situation. It's part of mindfulness cause or effect.

As I are familiar with him, I will develop for him the 3 components necessary to our success:

In order to benefit from the treatment he should be motivated. Motivated to wish to utilize hypnosis for his purposes, not mine, and inspired to put aside ten minutes every day to develop, via hypnosis, relaxation adequate to impact on the discomfort chemicals in his brain.
For this gentleman who is utilized to firing individuals and constantly being in control in a "one up one down" situation, I should merely be his assistant. Without this relationship, hypnosis will not be efficient.

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Third, I must make certain he has sufficient hypnotizablity. Most of us can experience hypnosis without difficulty. Probably, just about 10 percent of us will not be able to delight in the hypnotic process. I have little to stress over with this client. Most high functioning individuals in our society have great hypnotic skills, as hypnotizability is related to imagination, intelligence and creativity. It what we explore at the life coach wellness retreat.
After a short explanation of hypnosis and after gaining his consent, Mr. X was hypnotized to take pleasure in some deep relaxation.

Naturally, like numerous clients he had anticipated to be 'put under" as he had seen on the stage. Prior to his hypnosis, he was notified that this would not happen but nevertheless, in spite of his level of awareness, the relaxation and capability to accept suggestion would be pleasing to him.

With this mixture of trust, inspiration (based on right info) and hypnotizablity, I was not surprised that Mr. X achieved some initial success at relaxation using hypnosis and self-hypnosis.

He was very positive about the hypnosis that we did. He reported that the relaxation lessened the discomfort from his headache.

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It is a principal of hypnosis that ideas require support. In addition, practice and repeating are needed to establish these abilities so they can produce both a biologically medicated discomfort relief (via altered brain chemicals) and a psychological consistency that helps the client offer more easily with everyday stress.

Similar to the majority of my patients, I asked Mr. X to reserve ten minutes day-to-day (ideally at work and without interruption) to pay attention to an podcast that I created for him to regain the unwinded sensation and increased suggestibility that he experienced in my office. With some practice on his part, I was positive that these everyday and pleasant session would strengthen favorable ideas associating with his specific headache and mindset towards work.

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When last I asked he reported an enhancement in the severity of his day-to-day headache. When once again, he said he had little time for treatment but he was enjoying the 10 minute practice sessions by means of his tailored podcast.

This particular case history will show to the reader the worth of utilizing non-drug therapies to assist in discomfort control. Human beings are complex animals who may have many various "triggers" for headache.
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To summarize, hypnosis works and enjoyable and provides an effective complimentary or stand-alone treatment to those who experience headache. Tension reduction and relaxation techniques have an essential role to play in the treatment in among the more vexing problems physicians face in practice, the patient with headache.

Success Life Coaching

Here are some suggestions to deal with a worry of success:

Or is it a fear of the unidentified and a desire to stick with familiarity, even if it suggests not attaining your full capacity? Worry itself can be so incapacitating that it takes over our ability to believe and reason. As soon as you are able to establish why you are scared to succeed (which may need a little introspection), discuss your worries with a good friend you can trust or a life coach online.

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Sidestep poisonous people.

Some pals will support your endeavors and be your greatest cheerleader. Some will end up being envious, or covet your desire to rise above your current circumstances, due to the fact that it often indicates that they either have to step up their own video game or be left behind. The latter group will see your success as a hazard, however typically, exactly what it boils down to is a danger to their own ego. They might try to slam you or guilt-trip you, but understand this:

There is nothing you can do to recover their self-image issues, nor is it your obligation to do so. Do not let harmful people determine how you live your life or how you feel about yourself. Some people call it career change coaching.  If you need to burn bridges in order to salvage your sense of self, don't be afraid to do so.

I've accomplished exactly what I desired-- now exactly what? I comprehend the physiology behind training year-round, but I cannot assist however wonder if part of the reason why Olympic professional athletes train a lot is because they fear a moratorium. If you find yourself experiencing "post-achievement depression" realize that learning and growing are a lifelong process.

So if you're not the type of person who can sit back and enjoy your success and feel the have to be doing something, consider your next step. Why not coach or teach others? Why not compose a book about your experiences? After the Olympics, individuals found themselves asking,

"What is Athlete X going to do with his leisure time now that he's achieved everything he has aimed for?" Well, rumor has it the fastest man alive wishes to play soccer. On a side-note, can you imagine this person barreling down at you like the Road Runner on Looney Tunes? I indicate, how do you even run defense on this guy?

Here's what people who fear success have in common:

They hesitate of how buddies, household or coworkers will respond to their success.

Here's something to chew on: 52% of fearful people in our success possibility study are afraid that their accomplishments will trigger jealousy and resentment in others; 37% are worried that their friends and family will feel inferior to them; 51% are fretted that individuals will make the most of their success (by asking them for cash, for example), while 68% refrain from speaking about their success for worry that it will make them appear conceited. It's about finding inspiration.  Another 65% of our sample stated that they would turn down a promo because they hesitate of being ostracized by their previous colleagues.

They're afraid of the attention success will bring.

Win a gold medal and you'll get promotional deals and maybe even wind up on a Wheaties box. Perhaps you'll cut the ribbon at some grand opening, or be asked to do a talk at local schools to teach children ways to reach their dreams and keep away from drugs. The point is, when you become successful or achieve something significant, you're going to become the center of attention (of your family, social group, coworkers, the world)-- and 57% of the fearful people in our study are frightened of this.

They hesitate that sustaining their success will be a full-time endeavor.

Profession or family? 50% of our sample fears success since they believe it suggests that they have to put other aspects of their life on hold. For numerous, having an effective profession and a family simply does not appear plausible, despite the reality that many parents, specifically working mommies, are able to do so.

They're afraid that they won't be able to handle success.

Why do some athletes retire while they're still in their prime? Or why do some comedies end while they're still popular? Since for some people (39% of our sample, in fact), the pressure of being # 1 is frustrating. You can't arrive of the ladder and then relax and enjoy your success; you have to keep up the hard work, due to the fact that being the very best indicates responsibility. It's about self discipline and personal growth.  When you're # 1, # 2 and # 3 will be biting at your ankles, prepared to take your location.

They hesitate that they don't should have success.

33% of our sample struggles with "Impostor Syndrome": The belief that, in spite of their successes, they don't in fact merit the praise. Many individuals who have Impostor Syndrome feel like a phony; they believe that their accomplishments are not as remarkable as individuals they think they are. Their greatest fear is that others will finally unmask the reality, leaving them embarrassed. Not surprisingly, Impostor Syndrome is linked with low self-confidence, and is in fact more typical in ladies.

Stop Self Sabotage

I believe that everyone wants to be healthy and happy. No one chooses ill health and pain consciously. I have never met anyone who will state that they would like to stay sick, yet I have met many that are not willing to, or are reluctant to do what is needed for positive change to occur. Two different things in a sense, but not really.
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First of all, the conscious mind is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what we are thinking and telling ourselves. Our programming, our understanding of life, old memories and conditions, are all present in this enormous data bank – the subconscious mind. It has it all recorded, and it knows more about what you believe than your awakened state ever will. Mindfulness and Meditation Techniques reveal that only through our actions and our experiences can we truly see what our beliefs are. We act and live according to what we have been conditioned to believe, and that might not always be as it seems. We might have beliefs we did not even know we had.

How do you know you are sabotaging yourself?

You keep getting in your own way, so to speak. That is what we call self-sabotage. It might be your subconscious mind playing a trick or two on you, and being aware of this scenario can be of enormous help moving forward. Self-sabotage simply means standing in your own way.
Our subconscious belief system might show up as a false identity, and our lives are sabotaged by our own inner thought-forms. By exploring how we live and act, we might find that we are living a typical pattern of self-sabotage.


1. The not-being-worthy identity:

A very common subconscious belief that I have seen surfacing for many, is the "I do not deserve to get well"-pattern. It emanates from the lack of self-love. While deep down, you do not believe that you deserve to get well, you will keep doing things that will make that manifest as a truth. That way, you were right. Even though this is a subconscious belief pattern, it might be so strong, that it shows up in your conscious thinking as well. The feeling of unworthiness comes from holding on to old hurts. As a child, you might have been scolded and abused, physically or mentally. A child will believe that it does not deserve any better than what is, and this will be imprinted as a truth until the spell is broken. As the child grows, every time the same pattern of abuse or critique appears, it validates the already known inner truth.
A very typical way for this self-sabotage to manifest is as a self-created, very valid-looking obstacle. You will not reach your goal because you found that this was not the right time for you. Your husband lost his job, your children are too young, and they need you to do what is expected for them. This really is not the best time to take care of you – "It did not work out, because I did not have a car at the time, and could not get what I needed for my juicing". The stories are endless, and all valid. They make sense as something the conscious mind can sort of believe, as the subconscious mind keeps playing the story of your life. The truth is though, that nothing, and I mean nothing will stand in your way once you are ready. No-thing. Once that tape is turned off and replaced, none of these reasons will feel valid anymore.
What you know, and what you are programmed to believe, is not in balance, and inner chaos will arise. Even though your inner belief system is telling you that you are not worthy of this amazing health that you so long for, you consciously might want it more than anything.

2. The fear of the new identity:

Another aspect to have in mind when we are dealing with self-sabotage is the "fear of losing what we know"-pattern. It is the flip side to change, so to speak. It is the direct opposite of inviting in the change that is needed, this fear of losing what we already have.
Once we have made the decision that we are ready to go, to move forward, and to walk towards health, we know that change will be ahead. We know that we will have to change something. That is logical. The intellect knows that the protocol of eating and living will be different, and the conscious mind is ready.
Then, even if what we have been experiencing is not good for us, it`s hurting us even, it is still what we know. Even if we are in an abusive relationship, and we know that we are, it is what we are familiar with. Breaking free means uncertainty, and insecurity. The obvious scenario is that we would rather stay in pain, in fear of the unknown. I know, it really does not make sense, but for those that are living by their inner-beliefs of not being strong enough, or smart enough to be on their own, this is very real. This pattern arises from the understanding of not being able to take care for ourselves.
A typical scenario might be that you decide you are fine as you are. There was no need for any major change after all. You are fine. Your health is so much better now, it was all just a false alarm. Nothing to worry about, you are fine. No change needed.

3. The attention identity:

Being sick, might have given you more attention, that has led to the feeling of being loved. This pattern is most definitely imprinted in our early childhood. The experience of getting more attention and love, will stay with us, and we will continue to use the same patterns into our adult lives. A child will do what it feels it needs to do, to feel loved and accepted, and if a need was fulfilled when health was impaired, the pattern will stick for life. This does not mean that to get attention you are making yourself sick, not at all, but not being healthy will be associated with something that feels familiar and safe. That way, once you change your health for the better, you might feel unsafe, and fall back to the old comfort zone. Some relationships are built on this energy. The pattern of one being the needy and one being the servant, the caregiver. The partner who is in need of care, might feel extra important or seen, while the caregiver feels there is need for them.
The fear of loss is also present in this pattern and belief-system. "If I get well, he will no longer need to be here, and he will leave me." The fear of not being loved for who you are, has made you, through your experience as a child, holding on to pain and dis-ease, so that someone will care for you, and therefore love you. The self-sabotage might sound like this: "Nothing works for me. I have tried everything, and nothing works". This will draw in even more of the compassionate attention that you believe that you need. The truth is that you do not need any bodily dis-function, or anything else for that matter, to get the attention that you need.

4. The dis-ease identity:

Without even knowing it, you might be holding on to a dis-ease as an identity. For example, that you feel like your chronic diagnosis is serving you in some way. How in the world would being sick serve anybody, you might ask? "All I want is to get well, and there is no way being sick would serve me or anyone." Well, I am afraid there could be. A number of things might be lingering as a subconscious belief and understanding. These are beliefs that will keep you locked in your current situation, clinging to what is, even if it is suffering and pain. Remember, these are most often unconscious patterns, not something you are choosing in the awake state. Unconscious meaning hidden to us, but often we can still feel the pattern when awareness is brought to the situation.
This programming comes from the need to belong. We all need to feel that we belong, and when we have not had that feeling growing up, we will search for it in any community or situation. Once we find it, as it is one of the basic humans needs, it is very hard to let it go. We tend to want to stand by our tribe no matter what. They are the ones that have stuck by us, and have taken us in. We've felt welcomed and loved. The dis-ease might even be our livelihood now, our business. A very good and sane reason to hold on to it, now that it is "working" for us. Our perceived identity is worth holding onto for our dear lives, and the true and devastating story is that that is exactly what we do.
All self-sabotage is born from the misbelief that we are less-than, not good enough, do not deserve and are not worthy of love and abundance. We carry with us the pattern that reflects back to us what we believe. All depending on which types of situations we have experienced from the early part of our lives, those same patterns are still ruling.
The subconscious mind can be reprogrammed, and every single day, it is. By the way that we live and think, we are telling our inner being what we really believe in. By walking in the direction of change, and at the same time changing our conscious thoughts, we are slowly but steadily changing from within. This is the only way true change will ever happen. I will talk more about this in a later chapter, so get ready to hit the reset button!

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Emotional Literacy Feelings

Definition of Emotional Literacy

There are various definitions of emotional literacy, but perhaps the simplest, most precise and most practical is this:

Bren Murphy Emotional Literacy Feelings
Wheel of Emotional Literacy Tool

The ability to express feelings with specific feeling words, in 3 word sentences. (S. Hein, 1996)

For example, "I feel rejected."

This seems to be the most clear and direct way to identify your feelings

One practical and important benefit to doing this is that it helps you and others know what you need whenever there is some painful or uncomfortable feeling. 

In the case where a person feels rejected, for instance, it is an indication there is a need for acceptance. Similarly, when we feel hungry there is a need for food and when we feel thirsty we need water to satisfy our natural human need.

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Emotional Literacy - Identification With Feelings

Below is a meditation to help with identifying and accepting your feelings.

This meditation was devised by Roberto Assagioli and is in his book, Psychosynthesis (1969). It is now widely used in mindfulness based therapies including ACT: Acceptance Commitment Therapy. It should take about 20 minutes. This meditation is useful for fostering and observing, authentic self and helps to move away from being overly identified with body, feelings or mind and thoughts.

Put your body in a comfortable and relaxed position, and slowly take a few deep breaths. Then make the following affirmation, slowly and thoughtfully:

I have a body and l am not my body. My body may find itself in different conditions of health or sickness, it may be rested or tired, but that has nothing to do with my self, my real I. I value my body as my precious instrument of experience and of action in the outer world, but it is only an instrument. I treat it well, I seek to keep it in good health, but it is not myself. I have a body and I am not my body.

I have feelings and I am not my feelings. 

My feelings are diverse, changing, sometimes contradictory. They may swing from love to hatred, from calm to anger, from joy to sorrow, and yet my essence—my true nature—does not change. ‘I’ remain. 
Though a wave of feeling may temporarily submerge me, I know that it will pass in time; therefore I am not this feeling. Since I can observe and understand my feelings, and then gradually learn to direct, utilize, and integrate them harmoniously, it is clear that they are not my self.

I have feelings and I am not my feelings.

I have a mind and thoughts and I am not my mind and my thoughts. My mind is a valuable tool of discovery and expression, but it is not the essence of my being. Its contents are constantly changing as it embraces new ideas, knowledge, and experience. 

Sometimes my mind refuses to obey me. Therefore, it cannot be me, my self. I have a mind and thoughts and I am not my mind and my thoughts.

Who am I then if I am not my body, feelings or mind  I am a centre of pure awareness, love and will. This is the permanent factor in the ever-varying flow of my personal life. It is that which gives me a sense of being, of permanence, of inner balance. 

I affirm my identity with this centre and realize its permanency and its energy. I realize that from this centre of true identity I can learn to observe, direct, and harmonize all of my psychological processes including my body, feelings and mind.

I choose to achieve a constant awareness of this fact in the midst of my everyday life, and to use it to help me and give increasing meaning and direction to my life.

As a shorter version

I have a body and I am not my body

I have feelings and I am not my feelings

I have a mind and I am not my mind

I am a centre of pure awareness, love and will.

NB: Some psychosynthesis practitioners prefer to use ‘more than’ instead of ‘not’. I use both. If you are a Psychosynthesis practitioner, feel free to comment below regarding ‘more than’ or ‘not’.

Self Reflection

Which aspect were you most identified with?

Is there one part that you barely know?

How could you build a better relationship with these 3 aspects?

What was it like to realize that you are a centre of pure awareness, love and will…and not in fact your body, your feelings or your mind/thoughts?

This is a powerful exercise. You may want to find a psychotherapist experienced in this kind of meditation to help you work through an over identification with the various parts of who you are.

Alternative meditations

You can change this to suit any area of your life that you wish to separate and dis-identify from.

For example:

I have a mother and I am not my mother

I have work and I am not my work

I have things and I am not my things

I have a victim sub-personality and I am not my victim sub-personality.